Quarantine Playlist

Well. Didn’t think I would be writing about music again so soon, but I’ve recently found some extra time on my hands... It took us a few weeks to figure out moving everything from work online but that’s starting to hum like a well-oiled machine (seriously - the effort, attitude, and production of our staff during this time has been inspiring!) so I’m trying to fill the canyons of brain space that used to be devoted to my favorite hobbies with something. Anything. Being stuck at home, I’ve noticed a pattern in myself lately - I ping back and forth between feeling scared, then feeling frustrated, then feeling sad, then feeling a little rebellious against the whole thing (if I’m being honest), but then ultimately feeling a little hopeful. I don’t know if I’ve hit true acceptance yet, but I feel pretty proud about “hopeful” for now. Like everything else included in my Top 40 journey, I process through these emotions better/quicker/more authentically when they are attached to music. So I’ve put together my own Quarantine Playlist that walks through those checkpoints. And this list features all new songs. No repeats from the Top 40 list. 

Click on each song title below to hear/watch. I've also included links to previous posts if you're already THAT bored.

You can also click here to listen to this playlist on Spotify.

FEELING SCARED

I’m not afraid of catching the virus. I’m certainly not afraid of dying from the virus. My hope is not in this life but in the one to come. My heart does weigh heavy for those that are scared physically - the ones more susceptible to the disease. My own personal fears are more related to the lingering implications that will come with an international lockdown. Man, I’ve been talking to so many people that are currently being affected by this and my heart breaks for them as there is no end currently in sight. Not sure what the end game is. Not sure what normal we will have left to go back to, if/when we ever go back. 
It’s the End of the World As We Know It (R.E.M)

Sure does feel like it, doesn’t it? 
Run for Cover (The Killers)

In my Top 40, I mentioned that this track was my favorite from the “Wonderful Wonderful” album. Feels more appropriate now than ever.
Trouble (Cage the Elephant)

“Trouble on my left. Trouble on my right.” That’s how it feels every time you leave the house now. Hell, that’s how it feels when you wake up in the morning. FEELING FRUSTRATED

So the fear gets me feeling frustrated. I’ll admit that because of previous trauma in my life, I don’t always handle crises in the most healthy manner. My go-to defense mechanism has always been frustrated, sarcastic, subversive humor. I’ll go to the darkest places to find the joke because that’s how I can process what I’m feeling to eventually shoot out to the other side. These songs have helped me in that portion of the journey.
YOLO (The Lonely Island)

“YOLO.

Say ‘no-no’

Isolate yourself and just roll solo” Who knew that The Lonely Island would be the ones to pen our new national anthem?
I Wanna Be Sedated (The Ramones)

Seriously. Can someone put me under and just wake me up when this is over? We are all Bill Murray. Quarantine is Groundhog Day. 
The Waiting (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers)

This is my song to sports. Every day, Summer asks me what I want to do. My response every day is “watch a ballgame.” It’s not that I don’t want to find a new hobby. I know all of the other hobbies. I spent 40 years evaluating, researching, experiencing all of the other hobbies. I know what’s out there. I like my hobbies. I chose them. I miss them.  And no, I don’t watch replays of games that have already happened. That’s like when I try to give Kate a fake cell phone or remote control. She knows it’s not real. So do I. FEELING SAD

After “The Waiting” now I’m feeling pretty blue. 
Viva La Vida (Coldplay)

The story of a former king looking out upon his fallen kingdom. Yep.
Next Year (Foo Fighters)

I’ve always loved this song as it was the theme song to one of my all time favorite forgotten shows, “Ed.” But now it’s my hyperbolic, exaggerated theme song to when I feel like this is all going to be over.
If Ever I’m in Your Arms Again (Peabo Bryson)

Another exaggeration of how I feel but now it’s turned sappy and dramatic (Hi, my name is Josh Mahler. Nice to meet you).
I Miss You (Blink 182)

This is how I feel about hanging out with all of my friends in general. How I feel about hanging out with my friends at the bar. How I feel about the bar. FEELING REBELLIOUS

I’ve always been a fixer. I like finding a mess, fixing it back up, and then moving on to the next mess. I took that StrengthsFinder test and my #1 strength was "Restorative." In my head, I KNOW staying inside and social distancing are the “right” moves but they still feels passive. I want to see an active solution. I want to be A PART of an active solution. Since there isn’t one right now, my fixer brain goes on the fritz. I can’t reconcile that yet. We need to fix this. Immediately. In lieu of being able to fix it, I stray towards rebelliousness. I’ve always been a big “live and let live” person. I won’t tell you what to do as long as you don’t tell me what to do. So I’m struggling mightily with being told what to do. Here are the songs that help me cope:
Fight For Your Right (Beastie Boys)

Have already regretted not getting them on the Top 40, so I was glad to get them in here. They were always juuuuuuust a little too old for me growing up. Have really started appreciating them more as I’ve gotten older.
Won’t Back Down (Tom Pettty and the Heartbreakers)

Tom Petty gets on this list twice! He was just always great at tilling up a core element in his songwriting and this one and “The Waiting Above” resonate strongly with me on those levels.
It’s My Life (Bon Jovi)

A rebel’s anthem. But I do agree with the general “get off your butt and do something with your life” sentiment. FEELING HOPEFUL

OK, now that I’ve gotten that screaming into the wind out of my system, I can start feeling a little optimistic again. 
Gotta Live (Tedashii feat. Jordan Feliz)

I can’t even verbalize why but this has been my John 10:10 song during this stretch “Yeah, I want it like I need to breathe

Yeah, make it clear like I need to see

As a kid, Momma told me sky's the limit

Til' you hit it like Ken Griffey to the fences

Out the park, hit and run, that's my drive

It's a vibe, been that way all my life

I shut it down, when I shine with the crew

Yeah I ride with the crew

Gave my life to the truth, testify

Walk on water like the Son of man

Understand I'll never drown

Take a hit and never quit

Might be down but never out

There are days that I fail

And the trains off the rail

Through the pain we prevail

Tell 'em you just gotta live”
New Wine (Hillsong Worship)

Like the song above, I’m still working on the “why” of it but I’ve been listening to this song A LOT lately. I’ll keep you posted if I make any poignant discoveries.
Best of What’s Around (Dave Matthews Band)

“Turns out not where but who you're with

That really matters

And hurts not much when you're around

And if you hold on tight

To what you think is your thing

You may find you're missing all the rest” Love that a classic from my teenage years is taking on new meaning for me in my 40’s. That’s the power and magic of music 
Mr. Blue Sky (Electric Light Orchestra)

The day we all go back to normal for good, I’m going to play this song over and over on a loop as I film a montage of me hugging everyone I see. It’s been my carrot on the stick. Sometimes I just need an overly peppy song to get me out of my funk. Gotta chose actions over emotions. “Hey you with the pretty face

Welcome to the human race
A celebration, Mr. Blue Sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for Oh Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong? Hey there Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you."